why?

Why are things always so confusing for me? Why do I have to make decisions? Why do the decisions seem so diffuclt at times? Why is LIFE so difficult? Why do people die? Why do friends/family loose touch? Why am I always last? Why is God so far away? Why does it feel like I'm dying inside? Why do I hide behind this mask I've made? Why can I never find the answers that I need the most? Why God why?????